rlyhigh:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing

rlyhigh:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing

(Source: abadeerzs, via humanityishowlingatthemoon)

hate:

kitsunecoffee:

brilliantinemortality:

vagisodium:

apriki:

never forget that australias first ever winter olympics gold was won because the guy was coming dead last and everyone in front of him fell over


its happening

even better
the only reason he was in the final was bc the same thing happened in the semis
and the only reason he was in the semis was bc one of the guys that came ahead of him in the quarters was disqualified

i’m not sure if he’s the luckiest skater alive or a skater that has the power to curse other competitors.

i’ve been laughing non stop for the past like 10 minutes

hate:

kitsunecoffee:

brilliantinemortality:

vagisodium:

apriki:

never forget that australias first ever winter olympics gold was won because the guy was coming dead last and everyone in front of him fell over

its happening

even better

the only reason he was in the final was bc the same thing happened in the semis

and the only reason he was in the semis was bc one of the guys that came ahead of him in the quarters was disqualified

i’m not sure if he’s the luckiest skater alive or a skater that has the power to curse other competitors.

i’ve been laughing non stop for the past like 10 minutes

(via sassysamwinchester)

zoeefx:

selfcareafterrape:

I don’t know how to explain what that means anymore than I know why pretty much everyone knows the feeling.
It isn’t a migraine- but every sound is grating, every touch, everything. For people with PTSD, this feeling often comes right before or after a panic attack. I’ve learned over the years though that it isn’t something only people with mental illness experience.
Things you can do:
        1. Cocoon yourself. They make weighted blankets, and if you experience this often enough(and have the cash to shell out for them)- they’re pretty cool. But if not, get as many blankets as you can and wrap yourself in them. You want a solid, stable sensory experience.  For whatever the reason, the weight helps slow down the racing heart and may even allow you to sleep.
           2, Take a shower in the dark.  Take a night light or something like that in there with you- if you won’t be able to do it in the total dark. Make sure everything is as quiet as possible, and then either take a shower or bath in the dark. I prefer almost too hot water myself. Showers in the dark are great for sensory input, because turning off the lights makes you pay more attention to your other senses, and you get physical, auditory, and smells too.
      3. Going in public? Wear a jacket. If you can avoid over heating in one- that is. Wearing a jacket will help add sensory input- and keep your nerves from picking up every stray accidental touch/whisper of the wind. Also carrying a grounding object in your pocket that you can rub/squeeze can help.
     4. Plank. Or really- any sort of thing that puts strain on a lot of muscles. Personally I like holding push up position, or doing downward dog. You probably don’t want to be doing something that requires you to move/touch too many different things- which is why you want things that put tension, but require you to remain relatively still.
       5. Joint Compressions. Start with your your shoulders- work your way down to your fingers. and then from the hips own the leg to the ankle. They advise doing each joint three times. A lot of children who have nerve issues are advised to get special brushes (they have soft bristles- and lots of them) so that they brush along their arms and legs in order to help calm them down.
       6. Beanie babies or other weighted dolls. Once again, this is something I learned from working with children. I’m not sure why it works, but it has. It’s probably that the weight provides a more solid sensory input- and the fact that it is a doll- it can also be a comfort toy of sorts.

Just a little advice on the showering in the dark: using a little bit of light is very important, and be careful to not go into a kind of ‘trance’. Showering in the complete dark can actually induce hallucinations by blocking out close to all sensory input (your brain shuts out the sound of the shower after a couple of minutes). I just thought I’d mention this because I know these hallucinations can be quite startling. I’m sure this method is very relaxing when done properly but be careful :)

zoeefx:

selfcareafterrape:

I don’t know how to explain what that means anymore than I know why pretty much everyone knows the feeling.

It isn’t a migraine- but every sound is grating, every touch, everything. For people with PTSD, this feeling often comes right before or after a panic attack. I’ve learned over the years though that it isn’t something only people with mental illness experience.

Things you can do:

        1. Cocoon yourself. They make weighted blankets, and if you experience this often enough(and have the cash to shell out for them)- they’re pretty cool. But if not, get as many blankets as you can and wrap yourself in them. You want a solid, stable sensory experience.  For whatever the reason, the weight helps slow down the racing heart and may even allow you to sleep.

           2, Take a shower in the dark.  Take a night light or something like that in there with you- if you won’t be able to do it in the total dark. Make sure everything is as quiet as possible, and then either take a shower or bath in the dark. I prefer almost too hot water myself. Showers in the dark are great for sensory input, because turning off the lights makes you pay more attention to your other senses, and you get physical, auditory, and smells too.

      3. Going in public? Wear a jacket. If you can avoid over heating in one- that is. Wearing a jacket will help add sensory input- and keep your nerves from picking up every stray accidental touch/whisper of the wind. Also carrying a grounding object in your pocket that you can rub/squeeze can help.

     4. Plank. Or really- any sort of thing that puts strain on a lot of muscles. Personally I like holding push up position, or doing downward dog. You probably don’t want to be doing something that requires you to move/touch too many different things- which is why you want things that put tension, but require you to remain relatively still.

       5. Joint Compressions. Start with your your shoulders- work your way down to your fingers. and then from the hips own the leg to the ankle. They advise doing each joint three times. A lot of children who have nerve issues are advised to get special brushes (they have soft bristles- and lots of them) so that they brush along their arms and legs in order to help calm them down.

       6. Beanie babies or other weighted dolls. Once again, this is something I learned from working with children. I’m not sure why it works, but it has. It’s probably that the weight provides a more solid sensory input- and the fact that it is a doll- it can also be a comfort toy of sorts.

Just a little advice on the showering in the dark: using a little bit of light is very important, and be careful to not go into a kind of ‘trance’. Showering in the complete dark can actually induce hallucinations by blocking out close to all sensory input (your brain shuts out the sound of the shower after a couple of minutes). I just thought I’d mention this because I know these hallucinations can be quite startling. I’m sure this method is very relaxing when done properly but be careful :)

(via betterthandarkchocolate)

captashley:

dagger-kitsune:

baelor:

OK SOME REALLY SERIOUS SHIT IS HAPPENING IN NORTH KOREA
According to South Korean newspapers, last week the North Korean government PUBLICLY EXECUTED 80 people in 7 cities for watching South Korean/Western shows, movies, and videos, “pornography,” or possessing a Bible.
Apparently people’s attitudes and conformance are changing SO THIS IS HOW THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO SUPPRESS DISOBEDIENCE
They allegedly herded 10,000 innocent civilians into a stadium where they were FORCED TO WATCH THE EXECUTIONS BY MACHINE GUN FIRE
THIS IS HONESTLY SOME HUNGER GAMES SHIT HAPPENING IN REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW
some of the more reputable sources: x, x

Other sources: The Sydney Morning Herald    The Los Angeles Times

oh my god

captashley:

dagger-kitsune:

baelor:

OK SOME REALLY SERIOUS SHIT IS HAPPENING IN NORTH KOREA

According to South Korean newspapers, last week the North Korean government PUBLICLY EXECUTED 80 people in 7 cities for watching South Korean/Western shows, movies, and videos, “pornography,” or possessing a Bible.

Apparently people’s attitudes and conformance are changing SO THIS IS HOW THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO SUPPRESS DISOBEDIENCE

They allegedly herded 10,000 innocent civilians into a stadium where they were FORCED TO WATCH THE EXECUTIONS BY MACHINE GUN FIRE

THIS IS HONESTLY SOME HUNGER GAMES SHIT HAPPENING IN REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW

some of the more reputable sources: x, x

Other sources: The Sydney Morning Herald    The Los Angeles Times

oh my god

(via i-am-so-goddamn-stupid)

bendrowning:

My yes voting neighbours car has just been smashed by a squad of 12 no voters. It’s suspected they’ve smashed about 4 more on the way. My uncle almost got attacked for trying to chase them off. I’m in Livingston and the police are not coming
This is not Glasgow this is 35 miles away
Please everyone in Scotland brace yourselves and hide all yes stickers

(via dontbeanassbutt)

avoxia:

the worst thing about tumblr is that you read all those pro feminist/anti rape/anti misogyny posts all the time everyday and then you actually go outside and talk to a random guy and it feels like being punched in the face with a chair

(via i-am-so-goddamn-stupid)

frenchbreadrecovery:

juststayinuglyville:

frenchbreadrecovery:

PLEASE PLEASE READ AND REBLOG PLEASE

On July 17th 2014 my father in law, who is a part time trucker,  was in northern Ohio getting ready to sleep in the bed in the cab of his truck. After laying down in bed he heard some shaking noises in the trailer of his truck. He proceeded to call 911 to alert them and then heard someone jiggling the handle to the cab. Suddenly, a bullet shot through the drivers side window. (We later found out that there was metal in his eyebrow from said bullet.) He jumped out of the passenger door only to be met by 2 other men armed with knives. All together there were four men who proceeded to assault and maim my Father in Law. His injuries included a large gash to the stomach that required glue and 28 stitches, a stab wound to his arm that required 10 stitches, PTSD, and most recently seizures.

They haven’t found the four men who did it and from the forum Topix.com it seems like many recent crimes around there have gone unsolved.

Pretty shitty right? 

Well guess what? That’s not even the worst of it.

Sunday, August 14th, 2014, was FIL and MIL anniversary and the day my fiance had to go back to work until at least Thanksgiving. That morning we were all woken up to pounding on the door and my 16 year old sister in law answered to police claiming they had a warrant for my father in laws arrest. We were, and still are, in shock.

The police are claiming that he faked his entire assault including stabbing himself multiple times. We think it’s because he brought up the fact that no recent crimes had been solved in the town. As a result of my FIL being in jail we are lacking funds. He had been out of work because of his injuries and seizures and my MIL has POTS which makes it extremely difficult to carry on with every day tasks and nearly impossible to hold a job because there is such little understanding. Our land owner who were basically renting to own from is threatening us to kick us out. 

I AM NOT ASKING FOR FREE MONEY.

I will make you anything you desire for a donation. 

My beanies are $7 or 3 for $20 

My pot holders are 2 for 10

Skirts are $12 for infants and $20 for adults 

Aprons start at $50 and I’m trying to figure out how to make infant dresses.

Shipping is generally $5.

ANY donations are so appreciated. 

We all have clothes and food etc and if I get hate whatever I don’t care I just need help so bad. We don’t have cable and have the cheapest internet. We’ve sold cars and guns and have a truck that we cant fix yet. We’re just trying to keep a roof over our head so we don’t have to move. Were supposed to be getting a settlement but that could take up to a year for any money to come in from it. 

I am literally begging for help. Even if you can’t at least do me the favor of reblogging.

Also if you know me on FB don’t post this. It cannot be there yet because of our land lord. 

mamamadeleine thefirstandonlyeruanne lifecuzithappens mommareblogs have-f-a-i-t-h-inmomma la-maison-manquant housewifeswag 4357milesisnothing ldr-some

i’m going to buy some stuff as soon as i can okay. i hope things get better for you guys thats terrible :(

Thank you so much seriously even just a reblog is the greatest gift

(via dontbeanassbutt)

we joke about procrastination but nothing is worse than the nauseating feeling of having every intention of doing something but physically not being capable of doing it and then feeling like you want to throw up because the deadline is just getting closer and closer.

(Source: lifeafterbeths, via i-am-so-goddamn-stupid)